Adjusting
by Whip-Owl
Summary: Being in Ling's body might be just great, but Greed has some adjustments to make.
1. Chapter 1

(Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. You know, for someone who's convinced I can't write Greed, I sure write about him a lot. I suppose there's a difference between these and anything serious, or with a plot.)

Father stood before his seat. Today was a little more eventful than usual, with one Elric brother coming in through the door and the other literally bursting out of Gluttony. But some good had come out of it. He did have a new Greed. Already Greed and Envy were arguing like normal. Envy had come back just as Greed was leaving the room.

"Hey! Where are you going?!" Envy called out.

That was a good question actually. Father wanted Greed underground.

"To get a new outfit!" Greed snapped back. "You might not know style, but I do." A pause. "And no prince! We're not getting anything yellow!"

"You're leaving and talking to that human? You're not supposed to argue with the body's old owner!"

Father had to agree with that too. Envy was surprisingly on top of it today. Maybe they should get eaten by Gluttony more often. Either way, Greed had gotten some unorthodox ideas from humans last time, if he kept talking to this one it would happen all over again.

"I'll argue with whoever I want," Greed said. "And that's not you."

He tried to walk out of the room. Envy grabbed Greed and leaned back. They obviously weren't using all their weight or both homunculi would've fallen over, but Greed certainly couldn't move now.

"You can't leave. Father wants you to be down here," Envy said, waving a hand at Father.

Father didn't immediately respond. Greed just wanted to leave to get clothes. So if he had new clothes he might stay willingly, and it would put some distance between him and the human too. Maybe.

Greed laughed. "Doesn't look like Father cares to me."

"Actually, I do," Father corrected. "I need you to stay down here, or at least in the building." Father walked forward. "However, I can do something about your other problem."

As Father walked forward he created some new clothes for Greed with alchemy. He wasn't exactly sure what Greed wanted, but he didn't care. The clothes resembled what the other homunculi wore and that would work.


	2. Chapter 2

Greed stood in his new room. It was too empty for him. He'd have to find a way to fix that, go out shopping, steal from his siblings if he had to. However, he did have a mirror. He looked at the outfit Father had made him.

" _There, you happy?_ " Ling asked, sounding a little bitter. " _It's not yellow._ "

Greed was happy. It's not what he would've chosen, but it wasn't what Ling would've chosen either. Plus, on the way to showing Greed his room, Envy had muttered how Father never transmuted the rest of them clothes. Greed was special. Unfortunately, Father had also told Greed not to speak with Ling, so he was trying to ignore the human for now.

Besides, there were a few other things Greed had to see to for his appearance. He looked around the room. No scissors. That was a shame. He didn't feel like he had many souls, and using his shield for this would be a waste. Ah well, sacrifices had to be made and what not. Greed turned away from the mirror. He made his shield cover a hand and raised it towards the back of his head.

Ling suddenly went from seeming bitter to concerned. " _Greed? What are you doing?_ "

 _Ignore him,_ Greed thought, gritting his teeth and raising his hand to the prince's ponytail.

Suddenly, his arm froze, shaking slightly.

" _Oh no. You already got rid of my outfit and are using my body. You're not cutting my hair!_ "

"You gave up your body," Greed pointed out. "It's mine now."

" _You're renting!_ " Ling shouted. " _We're keeping my hair. Do you know how long it takes to grow that?!_ "

Despite Ling's protests Greed was starting to win. His arm was moving slowly, and a little unsteadily, but it was moving how Greed wanted. He slashed through the pony tail. Greed smiled in satisfaction. Ling was silent. And with that silence Greed heard a crackling sound, and could see a red glow behind him. His smile stayed frozen on his face.

"It regenerated didn't it?" he asked.

" _Guess it doesn't take long to grow back,_ " Ling said, confirming it. " _You can go ahead and do that again if you want._ "

Considering it was a waste of regeneration to grow hair he wasn't about to. Greed grabbed his hair and looked at it. It was back to the length Ling'd had it at. To make things worse, it wasn't held up anymore. Greed would have to put it back up. He wasn't about to let it just hang down at his shoulders and in front of his face. He sighed and started putting it back up.

"Fine," Greed said. "The hair stays."


	3. Chapter 3

" _Hey Greed?_ "

Greed paused. He'd been sneaking to Wrath's room to see if there was anything worth stealing. It would be very hard to talk to Ling at the same time. He'd either have to talk out loud or freeze and tune everything out while he talked to Ling mentally.

"Yeah?" Greed whispered.

" _First, I'm glad you decided to steal from Wrath._ " Greed smiled. He'd asked Ling who he should try stealing from. Ling had suggested Wrath. It made sense in some ways since he was never down here, and being the ruler of the country might have some good things, but Greed had a feeling Ling had some sort of grudge against Wrath. Ling continued. " _But when we're done, can you let me write a message? I need to contact someone._ "

"I can't do that," Greed said. "You'll probably just try and run off with this body. Besides, I'm not supposed to be talking to you at all."

" _Oh come on. It can't hurt can it?_ "

His tone just made the whole thing more suspicious. "No. Now shut up prince."

There was some silence on Ling's end that almost made Greed believe that had worked.

" _Or what?_ "

"Huh?"

Ling shrugged. " _We're in the same body aren't we? There's nothing you can do to make me shut up, and neither of us can leave._ "

That was all true. In theory Greed could try using Ling's soul as fuel, but being the previous body's owner and still having so much individuality would make it hard. Plus he was pretty sure there was a reason he shouldn't use Ling's soul for fuel, and he was kind of enjoying the prince's company. So much for not talking to him, but so long as his siblings and Father didn't notice it would be fine.

"What's your point Ling?" Greed asked.

Ling was briefly surprised Greed had used his name, but then continued. " _My point is I don't have to to shut up. And I won't until I send that message._ "

Then Ling tipped his mental head back and began loudly singing the Xingese version of 99 bottles of beer on the wall.

* * *

Ling had reached about 20 bottles. Greed didn't know that though. He didn't speak Xingese,and he'd lost count. He'd tried to tune Ling out. It wasn't working.

"Alright!" Greed shouted.

Ling stopped, head snapping down in surprise. Greed ran a hand through his hair, with more force than was probably good.

"Alright. Write your message. Let's just get this over with."

He briefly let Ling take over. Ling, on his part, didn't try to keep control or go running off. He just wrote a message in strange symbols.

"I can't tell what that says," Greed said.

" _Well yeah. I wrote it in Xingese,_ " Ling said.

At this point, Greed decided it wasn't wroth arguing. He was definitely going to look into Xing though.


	4. Chapter 4

(Hey everyone. Guess who's back? To be fair, I had some technical difficulties recently.)

Pride entered the tunnels. As Mrs. Bradley was out, it was a good time to leave his vessel empty to check on Sloth and the tunnel. However, the first thing he saw underground was Envy and Greed. Greed was standing, sway slightly, with a glazed look in his eyes. Envy was snapping their fingers in front of his face. They pressed Greed's nose. Greed tipped back slightly, but didn't react beyond that.

After a few moments where that got no response Envy turned his arm into a blade and moved to slice Greed. That would be a bad plan. Father had intentionally given him fewer souls than usual so he wouldn't go running off again, but Father didn't want Greed dead, currently.

" **Envy, what are you doing?** " Pride asked.

Envy froze and turned to him. "Greed froze up. Don't know what's wrong with him. Is he dead?"

Pride looked again. Greed looked almost like Pride's vessel when he emptied it. It couldn't be anything like that though. Greed was very much bound to that body. There wasn't anywhere he could go.

" **No. He's not dead.** "

"So . . . what should we do with him?"

" _ **You**_ **will do nothing to him,** " Pride answered. " **If he's still like this tomorrow Father can fix him.** "

Envy shrugged. Then they picked up Greed. Greed once again didn't respond.

 _What did I just say?_ Pride thought. " **Envy, what are you doing?** "

Envy grinned, apparently pleased with themselves. "Greed's not responding to anything. I'm going to make him thoroughly lost when he wakes up."

Well that wasn't really a problem as long as he was still underground.

* * *

"Hah! Told you I'd win prince!" Greed shouted, coming back into focus.

He and the prince often got into arguments, ranging from trivial to the fates of two countries. It was easiest to argue internally, so no one would hear Greed talking to himself. He won every time. This was his body now. He called the shots, and if Ling had a problem with that, he shouldn't have given his body away so willingly.

Greed's pleasure was short lived. They were in a very unfamiliar part of the tunnels.

"This isn't where we started," Greed said. "Hey prince! Did you move us? You did, didn't you?!"

" _How would I move us?_ " Ling asked. " _I was too busy arguing with you to take control._ "

"Well we must've gotten here somehow."

" _Why don't we just go back?_ "

Greed was silent for another moment, looking around and moving a little further down the tunnel. "Because I don't know which way back is," he admitted.


	5. Chapter 5

Greed wandered down the tunnels, past chimeras and pipes, like he had for the past couple days. On the plus side, he couldn't get lost anymore. He'd been around these tunnels too many times. The down side was this was all horribly boring now. He wasn't even sure why he had to do this. Supposedly it was because they were two homunculi short now, but if that was the case surely those two had been given better assignments than 'guard the tunnels'. He needed something to do, something other than walk around underground. It wasn't like anyone got past the chimeras. There was nothing for him to do though, and the only person he could talk to was the prince. It wasn't that he was bad company, but they always seemed to talk about the same things. Xing. Greed owning the world. It was a very circular conversation that was also getting old.

 _Shame there's no way to play a game with someone in your mind_ , Greed thought.

Greed stopped. He couldn't play a game per say, but that gave him an idea.

" _Greed?_ " Ling asked. He clearly had no idea why they'd stopped.

Greed grinned, pointed teeth flashing. "Hey prince, you know that song you used to annoy me?"

" _Yeah_."

"Could you teach it to me?"

Within the hour Greed was singing in Xingese, in a horrible accent. It made Ling mentally grimace, but one thing was good. The sound traveled well in the tunnels, probably helped by the pipes. The entire underground was filled with the sound of Greed singing and that, Ling could admit, was entertaining.

"Listening is such . . . a pain. . ." Sloth grumbled, continuing to dig.


	6. Chapter 6

Greed had snuck away from the underground tunnels, to get something to drink. There was a back exit that let out near what he assumed was a bar. It had alcohol at any rate. With them being a little short on homunculi at the moment it wasn't like anyone would catch him. Getting in was easy. He just walked up to the bar and asked for beer. He must've worded it oddly considering how the bartender was staring at him.

"I'm going to need to see some ID," he said, setting down a crate.

Greed could tell there were bottles of beer in there. Sighing, he began to riffling through his pockets. It occurred to him about half way through that process that these clothes belonged to him, and the clothes the Prince had been wearing, which were more likely to have an ID, were back in Greed's room.

 _Oh great. Now I have to go all the way back through the tunnels to find an ID I don't even know if he has._

 _"It wouldn't do you much good anyway,"_ Ling chimed in. " _I'm fifteen._ "

Ling had been so quiet this entire time Greed had nearly forgotten he was there. He remembered now. Greed froze.

" _You're, fifteen?_ " he asked internally.

" _Yeah,_ " Ling confirmed. He sounded far too happy about this.

" _And you couldn't have mentioned this sooner?!_ " Greed demanded. " _You know sex is on my list of wants too. That's also out now. What kind of fifteen year old sneaks into another country and sells their soul. You couldn't have waited?_ "

" _The emporer's dying_ now _Greed,_ " Ling said. " _I need to find immortality before that happens._ "

Greed had a feeling he was about to launch into an explanation on how they also needed to get back to Xing now, before the emperor died, so Greed cut him off by continuing to argue about the age thing.

" _Alright sure fair enough. We'll just wait three years and oh wait. You won't have actually aged in that time! We're immortal, forever under the drinking age. What am I supposed to do now?_ "

" _Pride seems to be managing._ "

" _If Pride_ wanted _alcohol he could absolutely get it kid._ " Ling seemed like he was going to keep arguing. There was no need. That had actually given him an idea. "Forget it. I'll just steal the beer."

Both him and the bartender paused as he realized he'd said that out-loud. Luckily Greed recovered first. He grabbed the crate of beer and started running.

"Hey! Stop him!" the bartender shouted.

Oh right. There was someone guarding the main entranced. He turned around and came in, effectively blocking Greed's exit.

" _Turn left!_ " Ling instructed. Greed turned. " _That wasn't even a little left._ "

True, and Greed was begining to see what Ling had wanted left. There was more space to the left, and they might've been able to make a run for the back exit. As it was, the only thing to the right was a flight of stairs. Greed ran up those. Upstairs was a hall with a couple doors off the side, and a window at the end.

" _Jump out that window!_ " Ling shouted.

"What?!"

That sounded like a terrible plan. Greed tried to open one of the doors, but it was locked. Not surprising. This was probably a residential floor. He could hear the sound of someone thundering up the stairs after him.

" _Jump out the window,_ " Ling repeated. " _I do it all the time. I'll teach you._ "

Well it was either that or fight the person coming up the stairs, and possibly still not be able to get out. He could fight the person coming up the stairs, no doubt about that, but the window actually seemed like the better plan at this point. He'd have to put the beer down to fight, or bash it against that guy's head. Greed ran down the hall and leapt. Between Ling's instructions and muscle memory, he managed to make an okay landing.

* * *

Greed sat in his room. If there was a window to stare out he would've, but they were underground. As it was, he just stared at the wall, finishing one of the beer bottles. The rest were shoved under his bed so none of his siblings, or Father if he ever visited the room, would wonder where they came from. He wasn't supposed to have left the tunnels after all.

"Hey Prince?"

" _Yeah?_ "

"We are never doing that again."

Ling doubted that.


	7. Chapter 7

"So that thug was still following us, but then, get this. We jumped out the back window," Greed explained.

"Oh," Sloth said. He didn't sound like he cared.

Never the less, Greed had realized Sloth could make a great conversation 'partner'. Greed got to do most of the talking, but Sloth said just enough to confirm he was actually listening, and it wasn't like he'd tell their siblings Greed was still talking to Ling. That would be 'a pain', after all. It was just a shame he took so long to walk to.

"And that human didn't even try to jump out after us. No he went back to use the front door. By the time he got down we were long gone."

"Such . . . a pain. . ."

"Yeah it was a pain. I think I should be able to steal some alcohol in peace. And now I'm not even going out again for a while. What am I supposed to do?"

Greed sagged dramatically. Ling mentally rolled his eyes, but he barely seemed to be paying attention.

"Sleep," Sloth suggested.

"No. Sleep is what you do. It's not what I do. I sing sometimes. You heard that. Want to learn one?"

" _Wait, what?_ " Ling asked, suddenly paying attention.

"Not the same one as before. The Prince is teaching me a new one."

"Such . . . a pain."

"I'm going to take that as a yes," Greed decided.

" _You could've asked me too you know,_ " Ling said.

"Come on, do you actually have a problem with teaching Sloth a song?" Greed asked. He suspected if it was any of his other siblings, then maybe. But Sloth? No. Another reason he was great for conversation.

" _I suppose not,_ " Ling sighed. " _Alright. Let's get started._ "

(I like Sloth, wish I could've fit him in more. Sadly, this is the last idea I had. I might add more later, but it's such a slim chance I'll be marking this story as complete. Thanks to everyone who favorited, glad you liked it.)


	8. Chapter 8

(Hey, so, look who's back for one more chapter. Feels like it would've worked earlier in the story, but here we are.)

Ling sat trying to meditate. The good thing was it was hard to be uncomfortable in his own consciousness, and was easier when he literally couldn't control his own body. The bad news was the swirling souls that moaned and formed a few sentences, but didn't seem to have awareness anymore, were very distracting. Also admittedly somewhat disturbing, but after what he'd seen of Envy and Gluttony, Greed looked like the least disturbing homuculous he could get.

"Hey kid!"

And there he was. Ling focused back in. " _Yeah?_ "

"Why do I keep randomly losing souls? I haven't even been doing anything."

Ling didn't even need to answer. His mind immediately went to the times he passed out, or came close, and waited for people to give him food.

"Hold on," Greed said. "You mean you're not faking? I thought you were just mooching off people for free food."

" _Well, that too_ ," Ling admitted. " _But_ w _hy would I fake it in the blood of your brother's stomach?_ _There's definitely no food there_." Ed's boot didn't count.

"No it doesn't," Greed agreed. "Well great. I'm not losing any more souls to that. Now what?"

" _Get some food?_ " Ling suggested, mentally shrugging.

Greed smiled. "Great a chance to get out of here."

He started walking down the tunnel towards one of the exits. It would spit them out in Central. The only problem was, it would spit them out near the bar Greed had robbed not that long ago.

Ling frowned. " _Uh . . . Greed?_ "

"Relax, no one's going to see us. And if they do, they won't remember us."

* * *

"Look! It's the theif!"

" _Won't remember us huh?_ "

"Shut up prince!"

Ling laughed. This had gone exactly as he expected. They'd gotten out of the tunnels, and there was no one in the alley they entered on to. However, Greed turned onto the main street where the entrance to the bar was. Someone was still posted outside and he certainly did remember Greed.

As it turned out, he wasn't that interested in chasing Greed. At the end of the block Ling saw him turn around and head back to guarding the entrance. Ling was about to suggest they stop running when Greed whipped around a corner and promptly slammed into a lamp post.

They hit the ground, and Ling actually felt the concrete beneath them. He didn't usually feel anything when Greed was in control. He didn't get his hopes up too high, but he experimentally wiggled his fingers. They moved! They'd responded! He was blinking too. He didn't need to mentally blink. Ling got up, feeling a little wobbly after not being in control for so long. Still, his body was his again. Greed was completely silent. Knocked out maybe? Ling still couldn't access his Philosopher's Stone though. Figured. Even unconscious Greed would keep the stone to himself, and Ling still needed to eat.

So he went to a nearby store, grabbed several sandwiches, and started towards the train station. He was sure Greed would wake up eventually, but he was also sure he had at least a couple hours. By then they could be pretty far away. If Greed didn't want to go to Xing then, Ling had at least inconvenienced him. He was wrong though. As soon as Ling reached the train station, Greed started to wake up. Ling tried to keep moving, but Greed was slowly making his way back into control. Ling doubled over, swaying slightly, and felt the connection with his body fade.

"Now, what are you doing?" Greed asked, looking around.

" _Getting a snack,_ " Ling answered.

He would've lifted his back of sandwiches, half of which he'd already eaten, but Greed was in control.

Greed scoffed. "Yeah, and I'm sure you needed to go to the train station for that. Nice try."

Greed spun around and walked out. He took a sandwich out of the bag, and began eating it.


	9. Chapter 9

(Introducing a chapter that takes place . . . considerably after the others? I was a little hesitant to do a chapter while they're on the road, feels like we're going into a different story, but it was the best timing for this.)

Greed walked through the forest towards the lights in the distance. He could hear the footsteps of people behind him, but they weren't talking at the moment, and he was perfectly okay ignoring them. They reached the edge of the forest, a good sized town now in sight, right outside the forest. Greed was about to step onto the road right outside it when Ling spoke up.

" _Hey Greed, what are you doing?_ "

"Going into the town, what does it look like?" Greed asked.

"Um. . ." one of the chimeras started.

"Let it happen," Ed said.

That was one nice thing about being with these three. Okay, they occasionally questioned things like this, but for the most part Greed could talk out loud to 'himself' without worrying about being caught.

" _You can't go there. We're still really close to Central, and do you think the other homunculi will let us go that easy?_ "

"They did last time," Greed said. Okay, maybe they'd looked for him, but if so they'd done such a terrible job Greed had never noticed.

" _You weren't with a sacrifice last time,_ " Ling pointed out.

Greed hated it when he made sense. "But I want to go into town." Greed tried to move, but his legs weren't working, the best he could do was sway on the spot a little. "Come on Prince! Give up your legs!"

At this point Ed was laughing, and made no attempts to hide it. Greed glared at him.

"Need us to vote on something?" Ed asked. He was still, clearly laughing.

"No way," Greed said. He turned back towards the town. "What do you say?" he asked Ling. "Got a way to decide without voting?"

" _You give me a hand and we play rock paper scissors?"_

Well that seemed a little silly but at least it would end the argument quickly. Greed gave him back control of one hand the two clenched their hands into fists. Then they spoke 'rock, paper, scissors' in unison, although the only voice the others could hear was Greed's. Greed played rock, Ling played paper.

 _Wait what?_ Greed thought.

Ling had just won. Greed had just lost. Lost!

"But . . . what? How?" Greed asked.

Greed was in charge. If anything, he should've been able to predict what Ling was going to do. Ling shouldn't have won of all things.

"Uh . . . Greed? We done yet?" Ed asked.

"This is taking a while," Darius said.

"We should've sat down ages ago," Heinkel agreed.

Greed could hear the two of them shifted around. In his head, Ling just laughed.

"No! Don't sit down," Greed said, spinning around on his heel. "We have to go back and camp in the woods because _somebody,_ doesn't think towns are safe."


	10. Chapter 10

(So I wrote another chapter of this and no one is more surprised than I am. I'm working on other things. How did this get another chapter?)

Greed was rummaging through his pants pockets. He hadn't found anything except lint and a candy wrapper Ling knew Greed was surprised to see there. The other three were a little farther away arguing about camp. Because of resources and time, Heinkel and Darius wanted Ed to just alchemy up some shelter. Ed was arguing that even if he put everything back, alchemy left traces. Even from here it was easy to hear Ed's side of the argument.

"Hey Ling, explain something to me," Greed said.

" _Sure,_ " Ling agreed, metaphorically leaning back.

Aside from not being in Xing things had gone alright for him the past few days, no reason to be difficult. And, after what he'd gone through, Greed could probably use a sense of normalcy.

"You're a prince right?"

" _Yeah._ "

"So how, do you have no money?! I mean seriously? Royalty and you have nothing."

" _Oh I do,_ " Ling corrected. " _But you left it in my bloody clothes, and it was all Xingese money._ "

Greed was silent for a moment, though Ling knew he was gritting his teeth.

"We're not in Xing."

No, meaning Xingese currency was useless, but Amestris was so bad at relations with other countries it wasn't like Ling could've exchanged his money. At least, not easily. And he'd wanted to be back by now, but he wasn't, and Greed knew that full well and was keeping him here anyway. Not that he wanted whatever the Promised Day entailed to happen but that wasn't the point.

" _No where near it_ ," Ling agreed with fake cheerfulness.

Greed was silent for a moment longer, apparently flabbergasted. Then he flung both hands into the air.

"Forget it. I'll just start stealing everything."

" _Try passing out on the street sometime,_ " Ling said. " _There are some people you can bum things off of._ " He paused and thought a little. " _Just don't do it in front of any soldiers or they'll arrest you._ "


End file.
